Sep. 29th, 2017 01:22 pm
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Kia – I have taken your advice, and now my bones are filled with an aching light.

One after the other I swallowed the wrinkled fruit hearts, pruned and ancient and full of a sharp, growing scent without the hum of the beating heart of all things. For some time they sat in my stomach: I digested them.

Later, I found a bucket in the basement of the dead house and stared deep into the red and pink bile that had torn its steaming way up my throat. I hadn’t thought I’d eaten that much food since the house died, but time has been passing strangely, in great wet chunks detached from form and substance.

Perhaps I was too late. It seems that my current body has rejected the sun joy of existence, the simplicity of survival and satiation. My blood is incompatible with redemption – too much was shed without ever touching my hands. Or perhaps I am simply sickened by old cans of beans and the everpresent rustle of my ghosts.

I lay on the ground breathing damp earth and learned what must be done to step to one side of pain. I still feel… rather worse for the wear than I was before your last letter. Physically. I have spent endless chunks of time asking myself what I will do if I am the last living thing here, if I have finally passed beyond the doors. I suppose that if nothing awful happens to me I will live until I die, alone with the swish of pine trees.

If the food stores in the house give out and I cannot find more it might not even be long. )
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The things which are in this world are finite. Perhaps something essential, an inner fire, was removed as the fruits came through your envelope? Or maybe I do not have eyes that can see the thin sheen of beauty over the mechanical surface of the universe anymore.

Or maybe what I have done has leached the world of color, just as it has smothered the house.

All that I had gained, all that I had built, it’s… gone.

The futile cardboard skins of instant dinners have returned to the refrigerator, replacing the variety of foodstuffs and persistent salami. The stacks of books have given way to shelves of emptiness, a neat and orderly shelving of tome after tome of blank pages. The smug yellowness of the house, the oily beigeness of its air, is no longer a part of the knowing emptiness. It is simply silent.

The windows do not look out on the same gardens, or any gardens at all. There is no flickering change in the corner of my eye, no gleam of other sunlight, and in fact no weather at all.

I suspect that I may have killed the house. )
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 Since I haven't yet finished editing my BACC rules for New Edenia, I thought I ought to post what I have started working out: how I somewhat-randomly determine if sims will get a divorce, and whether or not I will ignore their wants, or lack thereof, to get engaged or married.

Relationship Satisfaction Calculation

I set this little math simulation up to avoid determining my sim’s romances by pure aspiration or personality calculations, because basing things in aspiration or zodiac gets extremely boring for me, and it’s why I have hacks to make all lifetime wants accessible to all sims and am not above randomly reassigning One True Hobbies.

For each sim in my neighborhood I use a four sided dice to create the following statistics:

Preferred Minimum Level of Attraction (dice -1 = bolts)
Preferred Minimum Shared Interests
Preferred Maximum IDF difference
Marriage Priority

Sims with a marriage priority of 1 will not propose engagement, but may accept it. I have some sims that I use a marriage priority of zero with, indicating that they actively do not want to be married, but since this precludes actually getting married, and most of these sims will avoid going steady, I generally do not calculate relationship scores for these sims.

Shared interests are considered to be interests that both sims have 7+ points in, essentially their most frequent topics of conversation.

Each sim also has a randomized Ideal Family Size, which I set in ACR, but also record for the purposes of this calculation and determining if a sim will adopt or reproduce via plantsimism or alien abduction.

Calculating Relationship Satisfaction

When sims enter a committed relationship (going steady, engagement, marriage) I calculate their relationship satisfaction scores. This tells me how likely sims are to break up after a “honeymoon period” of one season from each relationship upgrade, and how likely they are to argue.

1)      The relationship’s positive points overall is calculated by the following: Bolts + Shared Interests + IDF difference modifier.

a.      IDF difference modifier: 0 = +2 points, 1,2 = +1 point, 3,4 = +0 points, 5,6 = -1 point, 7, 8 = -2 points. (Generally I do not use an IDF of higher than seven or eight.)

b.      The IDF difference is calculated based on the difference between number of additional children desired (IDF – current offspring) between the two sims. Therefore a sim with an IDF of 10 who has had 4 children from previous partners is perfectly matched in this regard with a sim who has an IDF of 6 and no offspring. A sim with an IDF of 3 who has 2 children from a previous relationship is poorly matched in this regard with a childless sim who has an IDF of 6 and no children.

2)      Each sim’s dissatisfaction points (up to three) are then calculated separately.

a.      Actual bolts – preferred minimum attraction = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

b.      Actual shared interests – preferred minimum shared interests = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

c.      Maximum desired IDF difference – actual IDF difference = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

3)      The overall relationship score is the positive points minus the total number of dissatisfaction points. This score rules whether sims will propose, and how likely sims are to break up after their “honeymoon period.”


Proposal and acceptance odds are calculated using a sim’s marriage priority plus their relationship score. This total must be above zero to propose, and at or above zero to accept. At least one sim in the pair must also roll a marriage or engagement want to propose.

If a sim proposes to a sim whose odds are below zero, I roll a 4 sider to determine how many days they have to raise the score before the sim with the negative odds breaks the engagement.

A sim with a special marriage priority of zero will break the engagement within 1 d4 days (I roll this randomly.) I usually only assign this to sims who are either afraid of commitment according to the extra personality traits I assign in their bios, or aromantic and don't want a marriage, maybe just a live-in best friend. (Though if I have ACR set right, I won't get sims in a position to propose to aromantic sims.) See this post for how I manage to play asexual and aromantic sims despite having ACR pretty much running itself.

Honeymoon Period:

The period during which sims will not automatically argue if they have low relationship satisfaction, set as 1 season after latest relationship upgrade. (Relationship upgrades include “going steady” getting engaged, moving in together, and getting married.) It only includes days on their home lot, not days spent on vacation / running businesses, etc.

Couples’ Arguments:

Dissatisfaction: After the honeymoon period, roll a 6-sider versus each sim’s dissatisfaction points each day to determine whether or not they will initiate one argument. Sims with higher dissatisfaction scores are therefore more likely to argue, and there is a maximum 50% chance that they will argue each day due to dissatisfaction.
Stress Arguments: When a sim makes a bad (red) memory or goes into red aspiration, they will argue with their partner once for each dissatisfaction point. For example, if a house is robbed, triggering a couple with 2 dissatisfaction points each to argue, each sim will initiate an argument “about the robbery” twice.

Kids: a sim who has zero more desired children will automatically argue with a partner who wants more after each child birthday or their partner rolls a want to have a baby.

Breaking up/Divorce:

Sims who fall out of love may divorce or break up at any time. Sims who lose their friendship will separate automatically.

A sim’s marriage priority determines how many days they will wait to repair a relationship before divorce after a partner cheats. Sims with a marriage priority of 1 have 2 days to repair the relationship or go to counseling, sims with a marriage priority of 4 have five days. I use each sim’s ACR jealousy settings to determine if they actually should have jealousy, and will cheat to remove furiousness from non-jealous sims who “caught a partner cheating.”

Each sim with more than one dissatisfaction point has a likelihood of divorce from sheer dissatisfaction after the honeymoon period, which is calculated by Relationship Score + Marriage Priority – dissatisfaction points. If this score is below 0 for Marriage Priority x 3 days, sims will roll a six sider versus their dissatisfaction points minus 1 every day to break up. The maximum is a 33% chance per day of divorce. I don't start rolling for this until 1 day after the couple has first had a mandatory argument.

 Improving Relationship Score:

1)      The easiest method would be to change turn ons/offs  via a matchmaker potion or the Re-nu-yu orb, but those don’t account for very much of a relationship score. (Additionally, some attractances can be improved by improving skill sets.)

2)      - Use magazines to improve the number of shared interests. It helps to find interests that only barely don’t count as major interests.

3)      - Sims who learn parenting have their acceptable difference in ideal number of children bumped up by one.

4)      - IDF differences can improve if a sim has had offspring elsewhere, also difficult pregnancies can bring IDF’s over 5 down a point or two. Sims who have excessively difficult pregnancies or who roll fears of having babies can have their IDF reduced.

5)     - Sims who learn couples counseling get a -1 to the number of arguments rolled for.

- Sims who learn lifelong happiness have their dissatisfaction score reduced by one.


Denise and Jasen are married and have a relationship score of -1. Denise’s marriage priority is 2 and dissatisfaction is 3, whereas Jasen’s MP is 1 and dissatisfaction is 1. Denise has a 2/6 chance of divorcing Jasen after 7 days of marriage (because even though 3 x a marriage priority of 2 means she could start on day 6, that's also the first day they'll have to roll for arguments,) a 3/6 chance of initiating a random argument, and will argue with Jasen three times for every red memory she makes. Due to only having one dissatisfaction point, Jasen will not automatically roll to divorce Denise under any circumstances, but will have to roll for arguments starting on day 6 of marriage, argue once per red memory.

Casilda and Toby are going steady and have a relationship score of -3. Casilda’s marriage priority is 4 and dissatisfaction is 2. Toby’s marriage priority is 3 and dissatisfaction is 2. Toby cannot propose to Casilda, but Casilda can propose to Toby and he will accept.

After marriage, Casilda will have a 1/6 chance of divorcing Toby after 12 days of marriage. After the honeymoon period she will have a 2/6 chance of initiating a random argument, and argue with Toby twice for each red memory. Toby will have a 1/6 chance of divorcing Casilda after 9 days, a 2/6 chance of a random argument, and argue twice for each red memory.

Ashleigh and Gibson are going steady and have a relationship score of 7. Both have a marriage priority of 2 and no dissatisfaction points. Either one can propose and/or accept a proposal.

If married or cohabitating, neither will have to roll for random or stress arguments, but arguments can still be triggered by differences in their IDF. In my game, these two randomized with zero jealousy, so they shouldn’t be broken up by cheating either.

Sura Kyo and Tesla Krakow are married and have a relationship score of zero. Sura has an MP of one and a dissatisfaction of 2. Tesla has an MP of two and a dissatisfaction of 2. Sura would start to roll for arguments and divorce on day 3, except that’s part of the honeymoon period so she has to wait for day 6. After day 6, Sura has a 1/6 chance of divorce, 2/6 chance of argument. Tesla will have the same chances on day 6. Both will argue twice for each red memory.

Sura’s Ideal Family Size is zero, and Tesla’s is seven, so when she and Tesla have a kid they will immediately start arguing over having more at every birth and birthday related to that child. For every child that exceeds Sura’s IDF, a point will be added to their IDF difference modifier, so that it will go up first to 8, then to 9, (at which point it will drive their relationship score to negative 1).

I've seen a lot of people try to randomize other things, but never this, so I thought I'd give it a go, and put it up here so that people who aren't math-averse can do it too. If you don't have a 4 sider, I recommend using a regular 6 sided dice and just re-rolling if you get 5 or 6. Or you can use random.org, or any dice rolling program.


scribal_goddess: (Default)

 Anyone who is hanging around here looking for sims stories, be aware that I know Photobucket has locked some of mine, that I intend to abandon Photobucket entirely, and that until I get the photos hooked up again for Instant Messages in a Bottle no progress will be made on other photos.

... I'm just wondering what brainless executive decided locking third party hosting was a good idea. All you're going to do is kill your traffic when 90% of the internet flocks to your competitors.

scribal_goddess: (Default)

Hello, Kiana. Thank you for the fruits – at least I assume that’s what they were. At the moment they look a bit like shriveled hearts. Perhaps they will also become trees. Certainly I don’t think I can eat them, even if it would be a surprisingly appropriate image.

I think that if the chess board is worth something, you should fix the roof, if it needs it. A small leak can sicken a house from the inside out. So can bad water, and termites crawling up into the heart of the house, so I suppose it is good that you have started to fix the garden, so that things can grow there instead of simply dying.

Your friend may not have a house, or be had by one, but she seems the sort who a house might want to keep. The thinking kind of person, someone who can see beyond other people’s peeling wallpaper shells.

To answer what I think may be your most important question: I have been infinity. For each person I have been, there are ten more behind those memories, and another ten, and another ten, stretching on and on. I do not have a beginning. The doors prevent me from having an end. Perhaps the mathematicians will say that I loop back around and contain myself, but whether I am a chorus of ghosts or a snarl in the fabric of the universe, I have always, to my knowledge, been myself.

That self just hasn't always been the same. )


Jun. 3rd, 2017 12:08 pm
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I may as well tell you the rest. It couldn’t hurt. You and I are figments of each other’s imagination, a story passed hand to hand around a fire in a whisper that is older than words.

It won’t hurt to tell you.

At least I hope not.

You were right about the doors. )
scribal_goddess: (Default)

One of the major things that's always been great about the sims is the ability to play sims of every sexual orientation. The other great thing is the thousands of hours of work that many glorious modders have put into various hacks that can make gameplay fully customizeable and micro-manageable, or run almost on it's own.

However, I had a little trouble making my simself because one of these hacks, ACR, has a minor drawback if you're asexual: it leads to about 90% more woohooing for everyone. Autonomously, which is the entire point of the hack Though this is a definite feature for about 95% of my sim population (unexpected children! Sims hooking up when my back is turned! Drama!) it’s a bug when it comes to sims who I want to be Ace, especially Aro-Ace sims like my simself, who in the interest of complete accuracy should have no desire at all to run amok romantically among my sims. So here’s a quick tutorial on the correct ACR and game settings for a variety of sims on the Ace spectrum, to keep them from the same rabbit-like woohooing that the rest of your sims probably participate in due to ACR.

I’m using ACR version 2. In ACR version 1 I’d simply remove sim’s tokens, which would allow only player-directed base game interactions, but that’s not an option in ACR v 2… even though I otherwise like it better due to the friendzoning and other adjustabilities.

Onwards to the Instructions! )
scribal_goddess: (Default)

There are things I dare not write, and send to be seen and known and judged. Not yet. 

Hello House. I hear you. Perhaps – this is hard to say, with a voice that sounds unlike my thoughts – perhaps you can do me another favor? I know I live within you like a clownfish in an anemone, and that without your help I would not have lasted this long. Do houses even do that weird, guilt-tripping thing about giving and receiving help? Do you resent me rattling between your walls and leaving the doors open all the time?

Are you a shiny oyster shell, doomed to crack? And am I the smear of slime and muscle inside, or a pearl formed around an irritating grain of sand?

I have to go to the Night Garden again. It will not be pleasant, but I need to know. To breathe the watchful air and to sift the silence through my fingers. I must pin myself in place and be without this fear, this watching, never able to close a door behind me for fear of what it might become. The night garden could change that, if the words burned in the back of my brain are true.

If I am right –

I can’t be wrong.

* * *

This interlude is part of The Pen Pal Project. Anya's two pen pals are Kiana Moss and Seth Morrigan. The masterpost for Instant Messages In A Bottle is here

scribal_goddess: (Default)

It is good that you have made another friend. I am… not ideal to be a person’s only contact with humanity, not least because I don’t match the precise definition. Perhaps this Sabrina will know more than I do about house care and surgery, the making of furniture boxes and the installation of refrigerators.

Perhaps, held in the heart of the house, panic will find it harder to reach you. )

Still, I am afraid that what I am doing now – what I should have done a long time ago – will not be easy. That I do not yet have the right answer, that the third option I have finally begun to search for will evaporate as so much smoke and dust.

I have been to the night garden.

It was not very pleasant at all. Have you ever had one of those dreams – no, not the one you’re probably thinking of, but one where you’re still almost awake, unable to move, observed by something that cannot be seen, a stranger in your own body? How slowly, the terror rolls over you, how deeply you feel the regard of something not quite live, not quite universal, something that judges your very soul with scorn but might still eat you anyway.

The night garden is worse than that. It does not watch in a recognizable sense. There isn’t a word for what it does, chill in your brain and thick like peanut butter in your lungs, teeth aching with the salt-smelling silence, the certainty that, should all go wrong, it is not death that awaits you.

I had almost forgotten.

The night garden is not safe. I am also not a safe, tame thing, so I supposed it would be better than it was.

It was not.

I did not find what I was looking for.

This is a part of the Pen Pal Project, and a reply to Kiana’s latest letter, Glow Garden. As always, it’s best to read both sets of letters to understand the whole story.

Next chapter will be a plot-necessary interlude, so it may take a little time for me to get to the next set of replies. 

scribal_goddess: (Default)
I debated sending you another letter before you had a chance to reply. It has been a very long time.

Perhaps, though, for you it has been less. I hope you had fun at Granite Falls, if fun is a thing that the hungry sun will allow you.

I have been keeping note of what has happened on a pad of paper that I found in a kitchen drawer.

Since last we spoke, I have:
- Spoken to the house and received a new pen pal, who communicates with me through letters that spontaneously appear while my back is turned.
- Experimented with sending physical objects back and forth between our two realities via envelope.
- Discovered that the house will, if asked, produce a great variety of foods, though not always the exact food that I was looking for.

You could say that I have made great progress. Or perhaps you could say that this update on the trivia of my life has been small talk, and perhaps it has. Small talk, someone once told me, is for small people.

But all of this is just avoiding talking about the Night Garden.

You do not, I think, have to imagine the dark )
scribal_goddess: (Default)
I finally found a copy of my old Shipwreck Challenge from Old Boolprop, tweaked it, and decided to put it back up for posterity. 

Have your sims ever set sail on a three hour tour? Now you can scream “GILLIGAN!” over and over again while they fail spectacularly at their wacky plots to get off this damn island.

- Bon Voyage and Seasons.
- A beach lot with a fishing spot, and some sims with no skills or badges, though they can be any age and have any relationship to each other. I recommend against having sims younger than teen on on the lot, as they won't be useful, but whatever you want. You can also use however many sims you want - my recommendation is between two and four, but you could have one or, assuming your computer could handle it, sixteen.
- Use a fence to block off the two tiles of sidewalk next to each edge of the lot, so that sims cannot interact with walkbys or strays. (Bills will still be delivered. Somehow.)
- an “empty refrigerators” hack, so your sims don’t get free food.
- All bugfixing hacks are allowed, as are any hacks that don't give your sims an unfair advantage by giving them slower need or aspiration drain. You should be able to play this without disarranging your mod suite in any way.

Before you start:
Before you start, purchase a bookcase, have your sim take a single book from it, and sell the bookcase. If you have six or more sims on the lot, you may take two.
Nothing may be bought to furnish the lot other than non-functional stuff from the deco catalogue, lighting, and landscaping.

I recommend not setting the sims' ACR or inteen settings, or making sure they're turned down low, because they're a distraction, and you won't have double beds in this challenge pretty much ever.

Reduce their money to zero and get cracking!

Gameplay Restrictions:
Sims cannot leave the lot or interact with anyone from outside its boundaries. This means they can't have a job, flirt with the mailman, order pizza (though you're not allowed a phone anyway...) or go to community lots. The furniture sims can buy is restricted. (See below.)

Sims cannot fertilize garden plots with bag fertilizer.

You may sell anything you catch while fishing, comb from the beach, or craft yourself. Due to the potentially ludicrously lucrative nature of the beachcombing items, you may only instruct each sim to comb for shells three times per day. When digging for treasure, only rocks and bones may be sold. Everything else is only valuable if you have a market for it, because a golden frog is really just a fancy rock when you're starving and haven't seen another human for days.

Seasons is required because the only way for your sims to feed themselves initially will be through fishing. If you stick around long enough to harvest some tomatoes, they'll probably appreciate those too.

When your sims have gathered enough money, you may purchase any of the following:

- Cheapest Toilet $300
- Cheapest Grill $210
- Cheapest Counter $200
- Cheapest full size Refrigerator (not the uni fridge, since it is also a counter, and cannot store leftovers.) $375
- Garden squares (as many as you want) $10
- Cheapest maxis trash can. (Optional)

This is your survival equipment. You may only have one of each of these items, besides the garden square, at any time. You may not sell these items and purchase new if they break, only if they become corrupted. Custom items may be used if they have similar stats to the cheapest base game item in the category, and if they cost less than the cheapest item, cheat away the equivalent money or purchase a deco item, to be displayed on the lot. (Items in sims inventories will be counted later, so try not to keep anything in there that you didn’t produce during the challenge.) All of these items fit on a single tile.

All other furniture must be unlocked by earning mechanical skill. The number of tiles any piece of bought furniture may occupy is the highest mechanical skill on your lot: all future single tile items require a sim to have a mechanical skill of 1, all 2 square items require a sim to have a mechanical skill of 2, etc.

Sims may purchase all lighting, deco, and other non-functional items once the appropriate mechanical level is reached. All functional furniture (items that increase needs or allow for skilling) is locked, and most can be unlocked.

Unlockable Items:
Plumbing: You may purchase one bathtub ($700) when someone has 3 skill points in cleaning, and one sink ($275) when a digger hits a water main/spring and someone has at least 1 cleaning skill point. With one point of mechanical skill, sims may purchase additional toilets, but only if there are at least three sims per toilet. If you have five sims, you can only have one toilet, but at six sims, you may have two.
Stoves and kitchen equipment: You may purchase one stove ($400) when someone has 3 cooking skill points. Microwaves etc are never unlocked.
Compost Bin: You may purchase this ($150) when someone has one cleaning skill point.
Easel: You may purchase one easel ($300) when someone has 3 creativity skill points. This, and the ability to skill body points by swimming, are the primary reasons for using a beach lot for this challenge.
Telescope: Unlocked when someone has 3 logic points and a treasure chest has been dug up. Necessary for departing the island. ($550)
Seating: You can purchase as much seating as you can afford. One tile seats must cost at least $80. Two tile seats must cost at least $150. All seating is subject to the base furniture size restriction.
Chess Table: Unlocked at Mechanical 2. ($399)

Locked forever:
All crafting/hobby stations:
You should be rescued before you have enough time to work on hobbies.
All electronics besides lighting: You are trapped on a deserted island. These are locked forever. There's no power anyway.
Beds: There's nothing to make a mattress out of but sand and palm leaves anyway.
Bookshelf: You may temporarily purchase a bookshelf and allow your sims to remove one book from it, then sell the bookshelf. If you have 6 or more sims on the lot, you may take two, since these books will be the only way to learn mechanical skill, and are the easiest way to learn cleaning.

Winning - Getting off the island:
You will need:
- At least one sim with 5 body points.
- At least one sim with 5 logic points
- At least one sim with 5 creativity points.
- At least one sim with 7 mechanical points
- A telescope
- A competed painting
- At least one of each vacation destination map
- $1000, to represent the “price” of boat building resources.

In order to successfully get off the island, you need a sim with the skills to build a boat (7 mechanical skill points,) a sim strong enough to row (5 body points), a sim who can navigate by the stars (5 logic points), and a sim that can draw a map. (5 creativity points.) You will also need $1000 to represent the cost of the boat, a “map” (any completed painting) based on the treasure maps you've dug up, and a spyglass. (The cheapest telescope.)

Final Score:
I decided we needed a score sheet, for all of us that are trained to play for points:

Step 1: Add together all the following:
+Value of all the sims’ dug up loot / $1000 (Round down)
+ Average Lifetime Relationship scores (add up every relationship a sim has, divide by 10, divide by number of sims)
+ Average total number of skill points
+ Average badge in fishing (2 points if everyone has at least bronze, 5 points if everyone has silver, 10 points if everyone has gold.)
+ Average badge in gardening (2 points if everyone has at least bronze, 5 points if everyone has silver, 10 points if everyone has gold.))

Step 2: Divide this by number of days spent on island!

Step 3: Subtract all the following
- 2 for every pee pants and pass out
- 1 for heat exhaustion
- 100 for any deaths
- 50 for aspiration failure
- 20 for making an enemy
- 5 for getting struck by lightning
- 10 for every cooking fire

May your sims be rescued swiftly.
scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

Kiana, I cannot give you time.

It would fit in an envelope but I am sure it would seep out through the cracks. I have tried, in many different lives, to give time, to beg and borrow and steal it, for every possible reason. I have tried desperation, generosity, jealousy, selfishness, revenge, grief. But in every life, the doors come, and I could not bargain with fate.

I have enclosed something else )

As always, this is part of the Pen Pal Project. Xantheanmar’s most recent letter from Kiana Moss can be found here, and my masterpost of letters, in chronological order (a very important order to have,) can be found here.

Shoutout to one of many thousands of GIMP tutorials I have consumed over the years, since I now know how to make fog.
scribal_goddess: (scribbles)
I admit that if I were not receiving letters in two different ways, there would be some potential for confusion if they were unsigned.

Since your letter arrived on my pillow along with a scattering of seeds, it was instantly distinguishable. My other correspondence arrives via computer.
The statuette that you received along with the letter and the box was not enclosed by me, so I am forced to conclude that it was either sent by my house, or a gift to you from yours. Your enclosure appears to have been exchanged for the shower of seeds that are currently infesting my bedsheets.

I do not intend to complain – the process of correspondence between our places of being is fascinating.
Where I am there are no lawns to mow )

Author's Note: As always, this is part of The Pen Pal Project. A masterpost of my entries is here. This letter is in response to Xantheanmar's latest letter by Kiana Moss, Gathering Flowers.

Sun Gravy

Mar. 5th, 2017 04:45 pm
scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

I am here.

At least – I think what I did has worked. Perhaps.

The letter appeared when my back was turned, tossed on the floor, in the tangled sunlight of the windows in the greasy beige afternoon.

This is not a reflection on the quality of your letter )

Author's Note: This is a response to Kiana's Letter. These letters are part of the Pen Pal Project, so they won't make sense if you don't read both halves! A convenient masterpost of my letters and their recipients' responses is here.


Feb. 28th, 2017 09:22 pm
scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

Hello Seth,

There is not simply a place you can go to, to find a door. There have been lives where I have tried.

Doors usually come at the end of all things, when there is no other way out, or forward, or through.

Sometimes they are an omen. Sometimes they do not come until I have begged and pleaded and clawed the walls until my fingernails are worn down to the nub.

Sometimes there is even further to fall than that.

I feel better now. )

Author's Note: This is a response to Seth's Letter. These letters are part of the Pen Pal Project, so they won't make sense if you don't read both halves! A convenient masterpost of my letters and their recipients' responses is here.

Also, warning: the first photo in this post is a flashing gif, so be warned. I can put up an alternate post with the gif at one fifth the speed or something (on the theory that it woudn't trigger anything bad if it were slow) if anyone asks for it, it's no trouble at all. Or I can put it up with the original unanimated picture.

scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

You have to understand, they’re not ordinary doors.

There are many doors and drawers and other hinged pieces of wood over holes in walls, like empty eyelids, that exist every day. They stand where they should be, in walls, silent and concealing. Anyone can open them. Anything could be behind them, so that the simple act of walking through could change your life, but walking through one will not dissolve you and reform you anew.

When I speak of doors they are not metaphorical. )

This is a reply to Seth's most recent letter to Anya.

If you've missed a letter, head for the masterpost.

Everyone else's letters are available at the Pen Pal Project. Read them.

scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

Instant Messages in a Bottle
Anya is being kept by a yellow house with a smug porch. The people on the other side of the computer screen are real. Probably. At least she’s determined to proceed with that assumption, because it is good to not be alone… especially since she’s not certain what the house wants from her, or what is going on outside the windows.

There aren’t any birds here.

Anya’s Profile: Instant Messages In A Bottle

First match: 
Seth’s Profile
Letter One (to Seth): 
The Tuesday Garden
Inside the Walls
Letter Two (to Seth): 
Gaps in the Web
 Caramel Centers
Letter Three (to Seth): 

Second Match: 
Kiana Moss
A Letter to Anya
Letter Four (to Kiana): 
Sun Gravy
Gathering Flowers
Letter Five (to Kiana): 
The Persistence of Salami 
Planting Seeds
Letter Six (to Kiana): Saponification

Seth: Uncracked
Letter Seven (to Seth):
Corona of Teeth

Kiana: Glow Garden
Letter Eight (to Kiana):
Telephone Whispers

Into the Night Garden
Letter eight (to Seth, unprompted): 

Kiana: Chess
Letter Nine (to Kiana):
People I Have Been
Kiana: Paper
Letter Ten (to Kiana):
Forbidden Fruit
Kiana: Love and Summer
Letter Eleven (to Kiana): Epiphyte


Headquarters of The Pen Pal Project

scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

Hello Seth,
The computer showed me your letter, and I assume this means we have been matched as pen pals. What’s it like, living with another person? I mean, I’ve done it before, in another life, but the past is thinner than the present.

You say that the sun is trying to eat you. I crawled out the window into the Tuesday garden, where the sun was shining brightly, just this morning to see if I could tell if my sun was hungry. I stood for a long time with my eyes closed, every part of me floating up but my feet stuck on the earth, all my weight pinned against the soles, bare and cool in the crying grass, while the rest of me soaked up warmth like a sponge. But the sun did not eat me. My weight returned, and I sat and listened to a tree’s heartbeat for a while.

Every door in the house was where it should be )


Author's note: This second entry in the Pen Pal Project is a direct response to Seth's profile, which can be found here. Anya's profile is here.

scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

Welcome to the Pen Pal Project! We are dedicated to fostering communication and connectivity between all people, using modern technology to create a sense of community. Please answer the following questions in detail, to ensure that we are best able to match you with your new correspondent or correspondents.

: Anya

Select your age bracket: Unsure

Profession: I am being kept by a house with yellow walls and a smug porch. It is a tidy house, and I do not believe it means me harm, even if there are poisonous mushrooms in the cellar. I did not choose to be here, but I came in through the attic door and the crater walls are high around me.

I believe the house is lonely.

How many pen pals are you interested in acquiring? )


Author's note: In a fit of sanity (blame [livejournal.com profile] medleymisty) I joined the Pen Pal Project! Anya is already partnered up with Seth Morrigan, whose entries you can read here.

If you would like to step through a door and be someone else, or maybe just be kept by a house for a while, stay tuned!

scribal_goddess: (scribbles)

I put up the first part of Shadows Fall in Halloween of 2015. It got longer. For now, these links are going to the Tumblr posts, but I'll probably crosspost full chapters here at some point in the future.

As a special event, Chapter Two is going up, one section per day, over the 2016 Halloween Weekend. Also, be sure to check out my tumblr for random build and play pictures.

Chapter One:
Part One * Part Two * Part Three

Chapter Two:
Part One * Part Two * Part Three

Chapter Three:


scribal_goddess: (Default)

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