Quill of Thoth

So... migrating all my original content over here for now from Tumblr, because if Tumblr can't be trusted to host images without randomly flagging them, there's literally zero point to it.

I'll be looking into setting up a Wordpress for my sims stuff (I'm Scribal Goddess - have been forever) for the image hosting and using this as my fic archive, meaning that there will probably be some crossposting here, since certain fics are more illustrated.

I'm Quill_of_Thoth at AO3, not that that has much of a community aspect, so that's where my fanfic is safe.

 

One after the other I swallowed the wrinkled fruit hearts, pruned and ancient and full of a sharp, growing scent without the hum of the beating heart of all things. For some time they sat in my stomach: I digested them.

Later, I found a bucket in the basement of the dead house and stared deep into the red and pink bile that had torn its steaming way up my throat. I hadn’t thought I’d eaten that much food since the house died, but time has been passing strangely, in great wet chunks detached from form and substance.

Perhaps I was too late. It seems that my current body has rejected the sun joy of existence, the simplicity of survival and satiation. My blood is incompatible with redemption – too much was shed without ever touching my hands. Or perhaps I am simply sickened by old cans of beans and the everpresent rustle of my ghosts.

I lay on the ground breathing damp earth and learned what must be done to step to one side of pain. I still feel… rather worse for the wear than I was before your last letter. Physically. I have spent endless chunks of time asking myself what I will do if I am the last living thing here, if I have finally passed beyond the doors. I suppose that if nothing awful happens to me I will live until I die, alone with the swish of pine trees.

Relationship Satisfaction Calculation

I set this little math simulation up to avoid determining my sim’s romances by pure aspiration or personality calculations, because basing things in aspiration or zodiac gets extremely boring for me, and it’s why I have hacks to make all lifetime wants accessible to all sims and am not above randomly reassigning One True Hobbies.

For each sim in my neighborhood I use a four sided dice to create the following statistics:

Preferred Minimum Level of Attraction (dice -1 = bolts)
Preferred Minimum Shared Interests
Preferred Maximum IDF difference
Marriage Priority

Sims with a marriage priority of 1 will not propose engagement, but may accept it. I have some sims that I use a marriage priority of zero with, indicating that they actively do not want to be married, but since this precludes actually getting married, and most of these sims will avoid going steady, I generally do not calculate relationship scores for these sims.

Shared interests are considered to be interests that both sims have 7+ points in, essentially their most frequent topics of conversation.

Each sim also has a randomized Ideal Family Size, which I set in ACR, but also record for the purposes of this calculation and determining if a sim will adopt or reproduce via plantsimism or alien abduction.

Calculating Relationship Satisfaction

When sims enter a committed relationship (going steady, engagement, marriage) I calculate their relationship satisfaction scores. This tells me how likely sims are to break up after a “honeymoon period” of one season from each relationship upgrade, and how likely they are to argue.

1)      The relationship’s positive points overall is calculated by the following: Bolts + Shared Interests + IDF difference modifier.

a.      IDF difference modifier: 0 = +2 points, 1,2 = +1 point, 3,4 = +0 points, 5,6 = -1 point, 7, 8 = -2 points. (Generally I do not use an IDF of higher than seven or eight.)

b.      The IDF difference is calculated based on the difference between number of additional children desired (IDF – current offspring) between the two sims. Therefore a sim with an IDF of 10 who has had 4 children from previous partners is perfectly matched in this regard with a sim who has an IDF of 6 and no offspring. A sim with an IDF of 3 who has 2 children from a previous relationship is poorly matched in this regard with a childless sim who has an IDF of 6 and no children.

2)      Each sim’s dissatisfaction points (up to three) are then calculated separately.

a.      Actual bolts – preferred minimum attraction = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

b.      Actual shared interests – preferred minimum shared interests = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

c.      Maximum desired IDF difference – actual IDF difference = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

3)      The overall relationship score is the positive points minus the total number of dissatisfaction points. This score rules whether sims will propose, and how likely sims are to break up after their “honeymoon period.”

Proposing:

Proposal and acceptance odds are calculated using a sim’s marriage priority plus their relationship score. This total must be above zero to propose, and at or above zero to accept. At least one sim in the pair must also roll a marriage or engagement want to propose.

If a sim proposes to a sim whose odds are below zero, I roll a 4 sider to determine how many days they have to raise the score before the sim with the negative odds breaks the engagement.

A sim with a special marriage priority of zero will break the engagement within 1 d4 days (I roll this randomly.) I usually only assign this to sims who are either afraid of commitment according to the extra personality traits I assign in their bios, or aromantic and don't want a marriage, maybe just a live-in best friend. (Though if I have ACR set right, I won't get sims in a position to propose to aromantic sims.) See this post for how I manage to play asexual and aromantic sims despite having ACR pretty much running itself.

Honeymoon Period:

The period during which sims will not automatically argue if they have low relationship satisfaction, set as 1 season after latest relationship upgrade. (Relationship upgrades include “going steady” getting engaged, moving in together, and getting married.) It only includes days on their home lot, not days spent on vacation / running businesses, etc.

Couples’ Arguments:

Dissatisfaction: After the honeymoon period, roll a 6-sider versus each sim’s dissatisfaction points each day to determine whether or not they will initiate one argument. Sims with higher dissatisfaction scores are therefore more likely to argue, and there is a maximum 50% chance that they will argue each day due to dissatisfaction.
Stress Arguments: When a sim makes a bad (red) memory or goes into red aspiration, they will argue with their partner once for each dissatisfaction point. For example, if a house is robbed, triggering a couple with 2 dissatisfaction points each to argue, each sim will initiate an argument “about the robbery” twice.

Kids: a sim who has zero more desired children will automatically argue with a partner who wants more after each child birthday or their partner rolls a want to have a baby.

Breaking up/Divorce:

Sims who fall out of love may divorce or break up at any time. Sims who lose their friendship will separate automatically.

A sim’s marriage priority determines how many days they will wait to repair a relationship before divorce after a partner cheats. Sims with a marriage priority of 1 have 2 days to repair the relationship or go to counseling, sims with a marriage priority of 4 have five days. I use each sim’s ACR jealousy settings to determine if they actually should have jealousy, and will cheat to remove furiousness from non-jealous sims who “caught a partner cheating.”

Each sim with more than one dissatisfaction point has a likelihood of divorce from sheer dissatisfaction after the honeymoon period, which is calculated by Relationship Score + Marriage Priority – dissatisfaction points. If this score is below 0 for Marriage Priority x 3 days, sims will roll a six sider versus their dissatisfaction points minus 1 every day to break up. The maximum is a 33% chance per day of divorce. I don't start rolling for this until 1 day after the couple has first had a mandatory argument.

 Improving Relationship Score:

1)      The easiest method would be to change turn ons/offs  via a matchmaker potion or the Re-nu-yu orb, but those don’t account for very much of a relationship score. (Additionally, some attractances can be improved by improving skill sets.)

2)      - Use magazines to improve the number of shared interests. It helps to find interests that only barely don’t count as major interests.

3)      - Sims who learn parenting have their acceptable difference in ideal number of children bumped up by one.

4)      - IDF differences can improve if a sim has had offspring elsewhere, also difficult pregnancies can bring IDF’s over 5 down a point or two. Sims who have excessively difficult pregnancies or who roll fears of having babies can have their IDF reduced.

5)     - Sims who learn couples counseling get a -1 to the number of arguments rolled for.

Examples:

Denise and Jasen are married and have a relationship score of -1. Denise’s marriage priority is 2 and dissatisfaction is 3, whereas Jasen’s MP is 1 and dissatisfaction is 1. Denise has a 2/6 chance of divorcing Jasen after 7 days of marriage (because even though 3 x a marriage priority of 2 means she could start on day 6, that's also the first day they'll have to roll for arguments,) a 3/6 chance of initiating a random argument, and will argue with Jasen three times for every red memory she makes. Due to only having one dissatisfaction point, Jasen will not automatically roll to divorce Denise under any circumstances, but will have to roll for arguments starting on day 6 of marriage, argue once per red memory.

Casilda and Toby are going steady and have a relationship score of -3. Casilda’s marriage priority is 4 and dissatisfaction is 2. Toby’s marriage priority is 3 and dissatisfaction is 2. Toby cannot propose to Casilda, but Casilda can propose to Toby and he will accept.

After marriage, Casilda will have a 1/6 chance of divorcing Toby after 12 days of marriage. After the honeymoon period she will have a 2/6 chance of initiating a random argument, and argue with Toby twice for each red memory. Toby will have a 1/6 chance of divorcing Casilda after 9 days, a 2/6 chance of a random argument, and argue twice for each red memory.

Ashleigh and Gibson are going steady and have a relationship score of 7. Both have a marriage priority of 2 and no dissatisfaction points. Either one can propose and/or accept a proposal.

If married or cohabitating, neither will have to roll for random or stress arguments, but arguments can still be triggered by differences in their IDF. In my game, these two randomized with zero jealousy, so they shouldn’t be broken up by cheating either.

Sura Kyo and Tesla Krakow are married and have a relationship score of zero. Sura has an MP of one and a dissatisfaction of 2. Tesla has an MP of two and a dissatisfaction of 2. Sura would start to roll for arguments and divorce on day 3, except that’s part of the honeymoon period so she has to wait for day 6. After day 6, Sura has a 1/6 chance of divorce, 2/6 chance of argument. Tesla will have the same chances on day 6. Both will argue twice for each red memory.

Sura’s Ideal Family Size is zero, and Tesla’s is seven, so when she and Tesla have a kid they will immediately start arguing over having more at every birth and birthday related to that child. For every child that exceeds Sura’s IDF, a point will be added to their IDF difference modifier, so that it will go up first to 8, then to 9, (at which point it will drive their relationship score to negative 1).


I've seen a lot of people try to randomize other things, but never this, so I thought I'd give it a go, and put it up here so that people who aren't math-averse can do it too. If you don't have a 4 sider, I recommend using a regular 6 sided dice and just re-rolling if you get 5 or 6. Or you can use random.org, or any dice rolling program.





 

Hello, Kiana. Thank you for the fruits – at least I assume that’s what they were. At the moment they look a bit like shriveled hearts. Perhaps they will also become trees. Certainly I don’t think I can eat them, even if it would be a surprisingly appropriate image.

I think that if the chess board is worth something, you should fix the roof, if it needs it. A small leak can sicken a house from the inside out. So can bad water, and termites crawling up into the heart of the house, so I suppose it is good that you have started to fix the garden, so that things can grow there instead of simply dying.

Your friend may not have a house, or be had by one, but she seems the sort who a house might want to keep. The thinking kind of person, someone who can see beyond other people’s peeling wallpaper shells.

To answer what I think may be your most important question: I have been infinity. For each person I have been, there are ten more behind those memories, and another ten, and another ten, stretching on and on. I do not have a beginning. The doors prevent me from having an end. Perhaps the mathematicians will say that I loop back around and contain myself, but whether I am a chorus of ghosts or a snarl in the fabric of the universe, I have always, to my knowledge, been myself.

One of the major things that's always been great about the sims is the ability to play sims of every sexual orientation. The other great thing is the thousands of hours of work that many glorious modders have put into various hacks that can make gameplay fully customizeable and micro-manageable, or run almost on it's own.

However, I had a little trouble making my simself because one of these hacks, ACR, has a minor drawback if you're asexual: it leads to about 90% more woohooing for everyone. Autonomously, which is the entire point of the hack Though this is a definite feature for about 95% of my sim population (unexpected children! Sims hooking up when my back is turned! Drama!) it’s a bug when it comes to sims who I want to be Ace, especially Aro-Ace sims like my simself, who in the interest of complete accuracy should have no desire at all to run amok romantically among my sims. So here’s a quick tutorial on the correct ACR and game settings for a variety of sims on the Ace spectrum, to keep them from the same rabbit-like woohooing that the rest of your sims probably participate in due to ACR.

I’m using ACR version 2. In ACR version 1 I’d simply remove sim’s tokens, which would allow only player-directed base game interactions, but that’s not an option in ACR v 2… even though I otherwise like it better due to the friendzoning and other adjustabilities.

It is good that you have made another friend. I am… not ideal to be a person’s only contact with humanity, not least because I don’t match the precise definition. Perhaps this Sabrina will know more than I do about house care and surgery, the making of furniture boxes and the installation of refrigerators.

Still, I am afraid that what I am doing now – what I should have done a long time ago – will not be easy. That I do not yet have the right answer, that the third option I have finally begun to search for will evaporate as so much smoke and dust.

I have been to the night garden.

It was not very pleasant at all. Have you ever had one of those dreams – no, not the one you’re probably thinking of, but one where you’re still almost awake, unable to move, observed by something that cannot be seen, a stranger in your own body? How slowly, the terror rolls over you, how deeply you feel the regard of something not quite live, not quite universal, something that judges your very soul with scorn but might still eat you anyway.

The night garden is worse than that. It does not watch in a recognizable sense. There isn’t a word for what it does, chill in your brain and thick like peanut butter in your lungs, teeth aching with the salt-smelling silence, the certainty that, should all go wrong, it is not death that awaits you.

I had almost forgotten.

The night garden is not safe. I am also not a safe, tame thing, so I supposed it would be better than it was.

It was not.

Hello Seth,

There is not simply a place you can go to, to find a door. There have been lives where I have tried.

Doors usually come at the end of all things, when there is no other way out, or forward, or through.

Sometimes they are an omen. Sometimes they do not come until I have begged and pleaded and clawed the walls until my fingernails are worn down to the nub.

Sometimes there is even further to fall than that.

Author's Note: This is a response to Seth's Letter. These letters are part of the Pen Pal Project, so they won't make sense if you don't read both halves! A convenient masterpost of my letters and their recipients' responses is here.

Also, warning: the first photo in this post is a flashing gif, so be warned. I can put up an alternate post with the gif at one fifth the speed or something (on the theory that it woudn't trigger anything bad if it were slow) if anyone asks for it, it's no trouble at all. Or I can put it up with the original unanimated picture.