Quill of Thoth

 

One after the other I swallowed the wrinkled fruit hearts, pruned and ancient and full of a sharp, growing scent without the hum of the beating heart of all things. For some time they sat in my stomach: I digested them.

Later, I found a bucket in the basement of the dead house and stared deep into the red and pink bile that had torn its steaming way up my throat. I hadn’t thought I’d eaten that much food since the house died, but time has been passing strangely, in great wet chunks detached from form and substance.

Perhaps I was too late. It seems that my current body has rejected the sun joy of existence, the simplicity of survival and satiation. My blood is incompatible with redemption – too much was shed without ever touching my hands. Or perhaps I am simply sickened by old cans of beans and the everpresent rustle of my ghosts.

I lay on the ground breathing damp earth and learned what must be done to step to one side of pain. I still feel… rather worse for the wear than I was before your last letter. Physically. I have spent endless chunks of time asking myself what I will do if I am the last living thing here, if I have finally passed beyond the doors. I suppose that if nothing awful happens to me I will live until I die, alone with the swish of pine trees.

Relationship Satisfaction Calculation

I set this little math simulation up to avoid determining my sim’s romances by pure aspiration or personality calculations, because basing things in aspiration or zodiac gets extremely boring for me, and it’s why I have hacks to make all lifetime wants accessible to all sims and am not above randomly reassigning One True Hobbies.

For each sim in my neighborhood I use a four sided dice to create the following statistics:

Preferred Minimum Level of Attraction (dice -1 = bolts)
Preferred Minimum Shared Interests
Preferred Maximum IDF difference
Marriage Priority

Sims with a marriage priority of 1 will not propose engagement, but may accept it. I have some sims that I use a marriage priority of zero with, indicating that they actively do not want to be married, but since this precludes actually getting married, and most of these sims will avoid going steady, I generally do not calculate relationship scores for these sims.

Shared interests are considered to be interests that both sims have 7+ points in, essentially their most frequent topics of conversation.

Each sim also has a randomized Ideal Family Size, which I set in ACR, but also record for the purposes of this calculation and determining if a sim will adopt or reproduce via plantsimism or alien abduction.

Calculating Relationship Satisfaction

When sims enter a committed relationship (going steady, engagement, marriage) I calculate their relationship satisfaction scores. This tells me how likely sims are to break up after a “honeymoon period” of one season from each relationship upgrade, and how likely they are to argue.

1)      The relationship’s positive points overall is calculated by the following: Bolts + Shared Interests + IDF difference modifier.

a.      IDF difference modifier: 0 = +2 points, 1,2 = +1 point, 3,4 = +0 points, 5,6 = -1 point, 7, 8 = -2 points. (Generally I do not use an IDF of higher than seven or eight.)

b.      The IDF difference is calculated based on the difference between number of additional children desired (IDF – current offspring) between the two sims. Therefore a sim with an IDF of 10 who has had 4 children from previous partners is perfectly matched in this regard with a sim who has an IDF of 6 and no offspring. A sim with an IDF of 3 who has 2 children from a previous relationship is poorly matched in this regard with a childless sim who has an IDF of 6 and no children.

2)      Each sim’s dissatisfaction points (up to three) are then calculated separately.

a.      Actual bolts – preferred minimum attraction = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

b.      Actual shared interests – preferred minimum shared interests = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

c.      Maximum desired IDF difference – actual IDF difference = if this number is negative the sim gains one dissatisfaction point.

3)      The overall relationship score is the positive points minus the total number of dissatisfaction points. This score rules whether sims will propose, and how likely sims are to break up after their “honeymoon period.”

Proposing:

Proposal and acceptance odds are calculated using a sim’s marriage priority plus their relationship score. This total must be above zero to propose, and at or above zero to accept. At least one sim in the pair must also roll a marriage or engagement want to propose.

If a sim proposes to a sim whose odds are below zero, I roll a 4 sider to determine how many days they have to raise the score before the sim with the negative odds breaks the engagement.

A sim with a special marriage priority of zero will break the engagement within 1 d4 days (I roll this randomly.) I usually only assign this to sims who are either afraid of commitment according to the extra personality traits I assign in their bios, or aromantic and don't want a marriage, maybe just a live-in best friend. (Though if I have ACR set right, I won't get sims in a position to propose to aromantic sims.) See this post for how I manage to play asexual and aromantic sims despite having ACR pretty much running itself.

Honeymoon Period:

The period during which sims will not automatically argue if they have low relationship satisfaction, set as 1 season after latest relationship upgrade. (Relationship upgrades include “going steady” getting engaged, moving in together, and getting married.) It only includes days on their home lot, not days spent on vacation / running businesses, etc.

Couples’ Arguments:

Dissatisfaction: After the honeymoon period, roll a 6-sider versus each sim’s dissatisfaction points each day to determine whether or not they will initiate one argument. Sims with higher dissatisfaction scores are therefore more likely to argue, and there is a maximum 50% chance that they will argue each day due to dissatisfaction.
Stress Arguments: When a sim makes a bad (red) memory or goes into red aspiration, they will argue with their partner once for each dissatisfaction point. For example, if a house is robbed, triggering a couple with 2 dissatisfaction points each to argue, each sim will initiate an argument “about the robbery” twice.

Kids: a sim who has zero more desired children will automatically argue with a partner who wants more after each child birthday or their partner rolls a want to have a baby.

Breaking up/Divorce:

Sims who fall out of love may divorce or break up at any time. Sims who lose their friendship will separate automatically.

A sim’s marriage priority determines how many days they will wait to repair a relationship before divorce after a partner cheats. Sims with a marriage priority of 1 have 2 days to repair the relationship or go to counseling, sims with a marriage priority of 4 have five days. I use each sim’s ACR jealousy settings to determine if they actually should have jealousy, and will cheat to remove furiousness from non-jealous sims who “caught a partner cheating.”

Each sim with more than one dissatisfaction point has a likelihood of divorce from sheer dissatisfaction after the honeymoon period, which is calculated by Relationship Score + Marriage Priority – dissatisfaction points. If this score is below 0 for Marriage Priority x 3 days, sims will roll a six sider versus their dissatisfaction points minus 1 every day to break up. The maximum is a 33% chance per day of divorce. I don't start rolling for this until 1 day after the couple has first had a mandatory argument.

 Improving Relationship Score:

1)      The easiest method would be to change turn ons/offs  via a matchmaker potion or the Re-nu-yu orb, but those don’t account for very much of a relationship score. (Additionally, some attractances can be improved by improving skill sets.)

2)      - Use magazines to improve the number of shared interests. It helps to find interests that only barely don’t count as major interests.

3)      - Sims who learn parenting have their acceptable difference in ideal number of children bumped up by one.

4)      - IDF differences can improve if a sim has had offspring elsewhere, also difficult pregnancies can bring IDF’s over 5 down a point or two. Sims who have excessively difficult pregnancies or who roll fears of having babies can have their IDF reduced.

5)     - Sims who learn couples counseling get a -1 to the number of arguments rolled for.

Examples:

Denise and Jasen are married and have a relationship score of -1. Denise’s marriage priority is 2 and dissatisfaction is 3, whereas Jasen’s MP is 1 and dissatisfaction is 1. Denise has a 2/6 chance of divorcing Jasen after 7 days of marriage (because even though 3 x a marriage priority of 2 means she could start on day 6, that's also the first day they'll have to roll for arguments,) a 3/6 chance of initiating a random argument, and will argue with Jasen three times for every red memory she makes. Due to only having one dissatisfaction point, Jasen will not automatically roll to divorce Denise under any circumstances, but will have to roll for arguments starting on day 6 of marriage, argue once per red memory.

Casilda and Toby are going steady and have a relationship score of -3. Casilda’s marriage priority is 4 and dissatisfaction is 2. Toby’s marriage priority is 3 and dissatisfaction is 2. Toby cannot propose to Casilda, but Casilda can propose to Toby and he will accept.

After marriage, Casilda will have a 1/6 chance of divorcing Toby after 12 days of marriage. After the honeymoon period she will have a 2/6 chance of initiating a random argument, and argue with Toby twice for each red memory. Toby will have a 1/6 chance of divorcing Casilda after 9 days, a 2/6 chance of a random argument, and argue twice for each red memory.

Ashleigh and Gibson are going steady and have a relationship score of 7. Both have a marriage priority of 2 and no dissatisfaction points. Either one can propose and/or accept a proposal.

If married or cohabitating, neither will have to roll for random or stress arguments, but arguments can still be triggered by differences in their IDF. In my game, these two randomized with zero jealousy, so they shouldn’t be broken up by cheating either.

Sura Kyo and Tesla Krakow are married and have a relationship score of zero. Sura has an MP of one and a dissatisfaction of 2. Tesla has an MP of two and a dissatisfaction of 2. Sura would start to roll for arguments and divorce on day 3, except that’s part of the honeymoon period so she has to wait for day 6. After day 6, Sura has a 1/6 chance of divorce, 2/6 chance of argument. Tesla will have the same chances on day 6. Both will argue twice for each red memory.

Sura’s Ideal Family Size is zero, and Tesla’s is seven, so when she and Tesla have a kid they will immediately start arguing over having more at every birth and birthday related to that child. For every child that exceeds Sura’s IDF, a point will be added to their IDF difference modifier, so that it will go up first to 8, then to 9, (at which point it will drive their relationship score to negative 1).


I've seen a lot of people try to randomize other things, but never this, so I thought I'd give it a go, and put it up here so that people who aren't math-averse can do it too. If you don't have a 4 sider, I recommend using a regular 6 sided dice and just re-rolling if you get 5 or 6. Or you can use random.org, or any dice rolling program.





 

I may as well tell you the rest. It couldn’t hurt. You and I are figments of each other’s imagination, a story passed hand to hand around a fire in a whisper that is older than words.

It won’t hurt to tell you.

At least I hope not.

There are things I dare not write, and send to be seen and known and judged. Not yet. 

Hello House. I hear you. Perhaps – this is hard to say, with a voice that sounds unlike my thoughts – perhaps you can do me another favor? I know I live within you like a clownfish in an anemone, and that without your help I would not have lasted this long. Do houses even do that weird, guilt-tripping thing about giving and receiving help? Do you resent me rattling between your walls and leaving the doors open all the time?

Are you a shiny oyster shell, doomed to crack? And am I the smear of slime and muscle inside, or a pearl formed around an irritating grain of sand?

I have to go to the Night Garden again. It will not be pleasant, but I need to know. To breathe the watchful air and to sift the silence through my fingers. I must pin myself in place and be without this fear, this watching, never able to close a door behind me for fear of what it might become. The night garden could change that, if the words burned in the back of my brain are true.

If I am right –

I can’t be wrong.

* * *

This interlude is part of The Pen Pal Project. Anya's two pen pals are Kiana Moss and Seth Morrigan. The masterpost for Instant Messages In A Bottle is here. 

Hello Seth,

The computer showed me your letter, and I assume this means we have been matched as pen pals. What’s it like, living with another person? I mean, I’ve done it before, in another life, but the past is thinner than the present.

You say that the sun is trying to eat you. I crawled out the window into the Tuesday garden, where the sun was shining brightly, just this morning to see if I could tell if my sun was hungry. I stood for a long time with my eyes closed, every part of me floating up but my feet stuck on the earth, all my weight pinned against the soles, bare and cool in the crying grass, while the rest of me soaked up warmth like a sponge. But the sun did not eat me. My weight returned, and I sat and listened to a tree’s heartbeat for a while.

Maybe I don’t taste as good as you. If you are what you eat, I taste like cream of asparagus, and the ramen you get in tiny plastic cups that boil over in the microwave.

It’s also possible that the sun has it’s pick of tasty things here, or that something is eating the sun before it can eat me. There are lots of trees and flowers in the Tuesday garden, and they may be gobbling up the toothed rays before they can get to me. I’ll have to repeat the experiment in the blank garden, when it comes back. For safety’s sake I should perhaps not attempt it at sunset.

I do not believe anything too bad will happen to me if I try. The doors always come when things are going to go wrong, and this morning every door in the house was where it should be, including the ones that aren’t always there.

Since you mentioned rats, it occurs to me that since I came through the door, I haven’t seen another living thing that wasn’t a plant. Or fungus. There are no flies, or birds, or earthworms here, unless the earthworms can hear me coming and squirm their pink panty-hose bodies deep into the earth when I dig. At the house, if I go out a door, its mostly dirt and sand anyhow.

Earthworms are not native to North America. This is a fact that I found in the encyclopedia, which sometimes has an entry in a language I can read.
I understand missing your work. There is not much that requires doing, in this house, not in a way that will keep your head above the water and give you purpose. If there is dust, there is no one to see it but me, and the house does not seem to like it when I pry too much into all its secret corners.

Not that there are many of those. Like I said, it is a tidy house. There’s barely furniture, nothing but beige yellow wallpaper and the crater walls outside the windows.

No one is watching me. The vast emptiness presses hard on my shoulder blades, makes me creep along the baseboards like a mouse. I think it might be better, to have someone watching, sometimes. To consume the parts of you that otherwise might spin off into an endless void. Even if there’s no help for the fact that we’re all locked into our own skulls, drowning in words that dangle off the fluttering shapes of thoughts.

I’m afraid that, as a pen pal, I won’t be very useful for relationship advice.

Except – I hear you. Well, see your words on the computer screen, that is. We will proceed with the assumption that both of us are real. That the sun can be bottled up, and kept from eating you.

I volunteer my services in trying, at any rate. I’m something of a multi-lifetime expert in disappearance.
Anya

P.S. I don’t suppose you know anything about cooking, do you? My last two breakfasts were raw potatoes. It seems I lost anything I once knew about it in the jumble on my way through the door.

Author's note: This second entry in the Pen Pal Project is a direct response to Seth's profile, which can be found here. The chapter masterpost is here. Anya's profile is here. 

Aaaah cover art!

http://www.slideshare.net/ScribalGoddess/114-ehl-14-senioritis

In which College happens, Lydia investigates, and Nymea demonstrates that she is just as awful as her parents.

WTF is an embed, Slideshare? Do you even know? Why are you so goddamn unfriendly? WTF is your fascination with linkedin why are you such a butt trying to make me give my location...

If you find any Slideshare problems, please point them out! This is honestly probably the last slideshared chapter, I can't be having with leaving for 9 months and then them overhauling the whole site...