I'd be your live-in best friend if I was single and cool with moving! :)
Also I'm terribly sorry for not seeing these posts until now - been avoiding the friends list again lately. Less out of anxiety and more from lack of time though. *really hopes she's not one of the people who thinks you should be a satellite*
Haha, I like the British spelling of advertise there. :)
I also do not have a medium setting. Which has gotten me in trouble in the past.
And oh yes, welcome to the club of those of us who wear our hearts on our unlocked posts. ;)
I hate the Christmas anon thing. But then it's not like I've had a good experience with the Sims community, or with anonymous stuff, and when I see people on there who I know read the secrets, being all sugary sweet and nice - it makes me throw up a little, really. But I'll be quiet about that now.
I don't know. As a person with many of the same issues and a decade older - I found a dude at school who I could get along with, married him, and have spent the last 13 years hanging out with him and, on holidays and birthdays, his family. And making friends on the internet, sometimes with great results (like you) and sometimes with disastrous results. In 2011, the disaster way outweighed the good. This year, there's been a ton more good than bad.
And I really really hate to sound like the stereotypical judge-y person who doesn't believe in asexuality, but it's just...I wasn't extremely interested either, and I'm still not really, but because I like John and feel attached to him, it works there. And only there. Hoo boy am I monogamous. So you know - I'm not trying to invalidate you at all, but I guess I did want to hold out the possibility that maybe you're demisexual like me - not really interested unless there is a very very strong emotional connection.
As for flirting - here are my tips. And do note that I have a 100% success rate, and every guy I've tried this on has shown interest in me.
Pay attention to them, laugh at their jokes, and participate in their interests. Let them teach you things. Make them feel special.
You know how the most popular guy in my high school had a crush on me? I had French with him sophomore year, and every day I'd think of something to talk to him about at the end of class, something where he would be the focus of attention and he could answer my questions and feel all special and important. Didn't take long for the rumors of his crush to start. ;)
Grace got her hooks into Crushy Boy by joining his parkour group. And then breaking her foot 15 minutes into her first session, but that part's not absolutely necessary. Although John added "It did seem to really get the hooks in, though." ;)
Essentially, that focus you speak of - it's your best tool. Use it well, and any single unattached guy you want will fall at your feet.
If I hadn't met John in college - then I'd probably be looking to meet people at bookstores, or the library, or I'd check out local groups on Meetup - there's a Geek club here that meets through Meetup, and they play trivia and have a gala ball once a year and go to movies and plays and things like that. There's also a writers group on there. And you can actually use online dating services to find local friends - just make it clear in your profile that you're only looking for friends, or if you want you could say you're looking for dates and friends.
It's tough, and thus far after nearly 32 years - the isolation never goes away. I don't know how many times I've found a new community on the internet, and I've thought "My people! I've found them!" and then after a week or two (or months to a year, in some extreme cases), the shine wore off and I saw that no, there's that immense yawning chasm here too.
*hugs* There's hope. There is. Hey, if nothing else, maybe you'll find a job down here! :) But nah - you're attached to your family there, I know.
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2012-12-08 03:30 am (UTC)Also I'm terribly sorry for not seeing these posts until now - been avoiding the friends list again lately. Less out of anxiety and more from lack of time though. *really hopes she's not one of the people who thinks you should be a satellite*
Haha, I like the British spelling of advertise there. :)
I also do not have a medium setting. Which has gotten me in trouble in the past.
And oh yes, welcome to the club of those of us who wear our hearts on our unlocked posts. ;)
I hate the Christmas anon thing. But then it's not like I've had a good experience with the Sims community, or with anonymous stuff, and when I see people on there who I know read the secrets, being all sugary sweet and nice - it makes me throw up a little, really. But I'll be quiet about that now.
I don't know. As a person with many of the same issues and a decade older - I found a dude at school who I could get along with, married him, and have spent the last 13 years hanging out with him and, on holidays and birthdays, his family. And making friends on the internet, sometimes with great results (like you) and sometimes with disastrous results. In 2011, the disaster way outweighed the good. This year, there's been a ton more good than bad.
And I really really hate to sound like the stereotypical judge-y person who doesn't believe in asexuality, but it's just...I wasn't extremely interested either, and I'm still not really, but because I like John and feel attached to him, it works there. And only there. Hoo boy am I monogamous. So you know - I'm not trying to invalidate you at all, but I guess I did want to hold out the possibility that maybe you're demisexual like me - not really interested unless there is a very very strong emotional connection.
As for flirting - here are my tips. And do note that I have a 100% success rate, and every guy I've tried this on has shown interest in me.
Pay attention to them, laugh at their jokes, and participate in their interests. Let them teach you things. Make them feel special.
You know how the most popular guy in my high school had a crush on me? I had French with him sophomore year, and every day I'd think of something to talk to him about at the end of class, something where he would be the focus of attention and he could answer my questions and feel all special and important. Didn't take long for the rumors of his crush to start. ;)
Grace got her hooks into Crushy Boy by joining his parkour group. And then breaking her foot 15 minutes into her first session, but that part's not absolutely necessary. Although John added "It did seem to really get the hooks in, though." ;)
Essentially, that focus you speak of - it's your best tool. Use it well, and any single unattached guy you want will fall at your feet.
If I hadn't met John in college - then I'd probably be looking to meet people at bookstores, or the library, or I'd check out local groups on Meetup - there's a Geek club here that meets through Meetup, and they play trivia and have a gala ball once a year and go to movies and plays and things like that. There's also a writers group on there. And you can actually use online dating services to find local friends - just make it clear in your profile that you're only looking for friends, or if you want you could say you're looking for dates and friends.
It's tough, and thus far after nearly 32 years - the isolation never goes away. I don't know how many times I've found a new community on the internet, and I've thought "My people! I've found them!" and then after a week or two (or months to a year, in some extreme cases), the shine wore off and I saw that no, there's that immense yawning chasm here too.
*hugs* There's hope. There is. Hey, if nothing else, maybe you'll find a job down here! :) But nah - you're attached to your family there, I know.
If it helps at all - I understand. *hugs*